I can get over the fun I had with my sister Isabella and her girlfriend Frances in Manhattan yesterday. I finally got to see what the big city was all about, the crowds of different strange people from all over the world looking for fun and adventure. The food, the huge movie house, live theaters, fancy stores there is something for everybody even a kid like me. I can’t wait to go back to Manhattan with my friends one day. I can’t get over the crowds of people rushing around with blank looks on their face, they’re probably thinking of where they’re going or what kind of food they would like to eat. I guess we looked the same as they did. So I went out this morning, I’m so excited, looking for my friends to tell them all about my adventures in Manhattan and the crazy looking Peacock guys walking around in their cool Zoot Suits. They’re never gonna believe me. But none the guys seem to be around.
I know it’s kinda early so I’ll just have to ring somebody’s door bell. I’ll check Nunzio’s house, he’s always up early. So I went over to his house and rang his bell. His mother opened the door I told me that I’ll find him in the kitchen. There he is, sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. I call out to him, “Hey Nunzio, sorry to bother you while you’re eating. My sister and her girlfriend Frances took me to Manhattan yesterday and I just had to tell you all about my day with them, you’re not going to believe it.” He said, “Okay, I don’t want to stop eating my Spam and Eggs because they don’t taste as good when they’re cold, sit down at the table with me and tell me all about it.” So I did, “We went to Manhattan early yesterday by subway, we got off on 42nd Street and Broadway. It seemed like we walked for miles watching all these strange people rushing around the Streets there.” At this point I told him about the billboard sign of a man smoking a Camel Cigarette with smoke coming out of his mouth. Yes, you heard me; he was making actual smoke rings. Unbelievable isn’t it?
I kept talking and talking all about the Movie House, the Wizard of Oz movie, the pretzel man and the giant pretzel I ate, my chicken pot pie, window shopping, and the weirdest thing of all were the guys in Zoot Suits. I could barely catch my breath, When I stopped talking and said, “Wait a minute, what in the hell is Spam?”
He looked up at me with a little egg dripping down his chin and said, “You never ate Spam? It’s different from ham and I love it. My mother calls it spiced ham because the taste is different from regular ham because it’s chopped up ham with other stuff in it. I don’t know what the other stuff is. I like to eat it in the morning with sunny side up eggs because I could swish the Spam around in the egg yolk before I eat it. For lunch I put Spam in between two slices of bread with a little mustered and sometimes my mother cooks Spam with beans for dinner. The best thing about Spam is that it comes in a can and it lasts forever until you open the can so we always have a couple of cans in our pantry. Here, taste it.” Nunzio put some Spam on a clean fork and reached out to make me take a bite of it.
I stretched my body over the table towards him with my mouth open and put a piece of Spam into my mouth. Nunzio looked at me and said, “Good, isn’t it?” “Holy shit, you’re right, I like the taste of this Spam. I’m going to tell my mother to get some of this Spiced Ham.” At the same time I was telling him how much I loved the taste of Spam I was thinking that my mother. She would never buy food in a can. Everything she cooks has to be home made. One day I saw a can of Chief Boyardee Ravioli in a can at Defonte’s. I love Ravioli, so I bought it. When I took it home my mother laughed at me. But I opened the can anyway and put the Ravioli in a sauce pan to heat up. While it was heating up the sauce didn’t smell that good. I took one bite of the Ravioli and threw them in the trash, because to me it tastes so bad. The Ravioli in the can didn’t even come close to my mother’s home made Ravioli. After Nunzio finished eating his Spam and Eggs he got up from the kitchen table and said, “I want to show you something” and walked into his bedroom. At that point it dawned on me that Nunzio never heard a thing I said about my trip to Manhattan. He was too freaking busy eating his Spam and eggs to listen to me. To tell you the truth, now, I’m really pissed off. He came back into the kitchen with a big smile on his face and said “Here, look at this mini puzzle my Dad gave me. You jumble these numbers and then you slide them back in order as fast as you can. It’s a game and here how you play it. Let’s say we get six of our friends together, we all stand in a circle, I jumble the numbers and give the puzzle to Reno the Greek. He has one minute to put the numbers back in order. If he makes it in time he stays in the circle, then Reno jumbles the puzzle again and hands it to Mike Tomato. Let’s say Mike doesn’t do it in one minute he then has to drop out of the circle and wait for the next game to start.
Because he’s out Mike has to hand the puzzle back to Reno to jumble the numbers and then Reno can hand the puzzle to Jimmy Pizza who is the next guy in the circle. The thing is that the winner always controls the puzzle and the last winner in the circle after everyone drops out is the winner of that game. Then everybody forms a new circle and starts a new game. What we can do before the first puzzle game starts we could put in a nickel a piece in the pot to buy a pack of bubble gun Cigars. The winner of each game gets a bubble gun Cigar as his reward before we start the next game. What do you think?” “It sounds like a fun game to play indoors on a rainy day. But you know what?
I’m pissed off at you for not hearing anything I said about my trip into Manhattan yesterday. I feel like telling you to shove your puzzle game up your Ass.” “I know, I know, when it comes to food I block everything out of my mind. It’s like I’m in a trance, I don’t see or hear anything while I’m eating. I just can’t help myself. You know what; now that I finished eating I will give you my full attention. I’m sorry, I really what to hear what you have to say. Now that you know about my eating habit, please wait when I’m finished eating before you tell me anything, otherwise you’re just pissing in the wind.”
Nunzio is one of my best friends I could never hold a grudge against him, so we made up and walked over to Chickie’s grocery store to hook up with our friends. That when we see Jimmy Pizza, Mike Tomato with Black face Henry running away from Joey Hook Nose beautiful sisters, Donna and Ginger. I met the teenage girls about two months ago when Roger took me over to their house to buy a broken down old bike from Joey Hook Nose. His sisters are so beautiful, with their green eyes, blond hair pushed back into a pony tail and their hot dynamite looking bodies stuffed into their tight white sweaters and blue jeans. They look much older than sixteen and seventeen. Anyone would think that they were in their twenties. Why in the hell are they running after my stupid friends? All of a sudden Jimmy Pizza runs by me and throws this rag at me and says, “Here, grab this and run like hell.” I catch this colorful silk rag and I run as Ginger is coming after me yelling “Give me my freaking kerchief back, you ass hole.” But I just keep running up Hicks Street. I’m too fast for her but she didn’t give up she kept on coming after me as fast as she could. All of a sudden I see Reno the Greek running full speed coming towards me in the opposite direction with his hand out, yelling “Pass it over, pass it over, come on, come on.”
So I tossed it to him and he grabbed it like we were in a relay race. Good thing he took the kerchief because I was running out of steam. I stopped to take a rest when I see Donna who caught up to Mike Tomato and grabbed him by the hair, she was pulling it as hard as she could. Mike was screaming from the pain but the stupid idiot would not let go of her Kerchief. After a minute or two he finally threw the Kerchief at her and ran for his life.
Then Reno the Greek runs by me again and throws Gingers Kerchief at me and I take off because I don’t want Ginger to grab my hair and rip it out of my head the way Donna did to Mike Tomato. The girls were really pissed so I threw the Kerchief over my head and it flew right into Ginger’s face but I didn’t stop to look at her I just kept running as fast as I could. I stopped running about a half block away and turned and I see the girls holding their Kerchiefs and bending over with one hand on each knee, trying to catch their breath. The guys came up to me and I said, “Let’s get the Hell out of here fast.
When the girls catch their breath they will come after us and they will kick our Ass.” I know that we are no match for two pissed off teenage girls in a fight. We walked to Columbia Street to Defonte’s Sandwich Shop and bought a couple of bags of potato chips and the new lemon soda called Seven Up to wash it down. We all sat together on the curb and I turned to Nunzio and I said, “Where the Hell were you when the girls were chasing us?”
“Are you kidding? When I saw those crazy girls with fire in their eyes chasing you guys I found a quiet spot away from the action to watch the Kerchief War and I laughed my Ass off. The best part was when Donna caught up with Mike Tomato and tried to rip the hair out of his head. Sorry, Mike, but it was so funny watching you scream and yell in pain when Donna was pulling your hair. But the best part was seeing you hold on to the Kerchief while Donna was dragging you around the street by your hair. Why didn’t you just let go or throw the Kerchief at her?” Nobody said a word, then we all looked at Mike Tomato who has a stupid look on his face and we all started laughing at the same time. That was it, we could not stop laughing, and even Mike was cracking up.
To be continued………….. New stories in the works, Halloween Pranks, Halloween games, Ice con man, Brownie Camera, Thanksgiving, Christmas Toys and much more…………….